Tough Love Tuesday | Your Mindset About Money Is Wrong
Money. There was no way I was going to wait to talk about our mindset around money. We are screwing ourselves over with the way that we think about money. We all want more of it, yet we are actively preventing it from coming into our lives. I know that it’s really easy to talk positively about money when you have some in your bank account. But the real work comes when you hit a rough patch, and the money isn’t coming in as quickly as you would like The jobs are slowing down, and you start to get into your head telling yourself a story about money. Here are three ways we prevent ourselves from attracting money into our lives and how you can fix it.
Speaking negatively about money
I’m sure you’ve heard of the law of attraction, which means whatever energy you put forth will get returned to you. It could sound pretty woo woo, but actually, it’s not. If you’re thinking about getting a new car and then all you see is that type of car driving around. Or, if you’re a conspiracy theorist (like me), your friend talks to you about a new brand, and now all you see are ads for it. Zuck isn’t listening to you from your phone (he probably is, though). It’s just now at the forefront of your mind, so now you see more of it. If you spend your time thinking about how you don’t have any money, you are not opening up space for money to come into your life.
The thing about your brain is it will never prove you to be a liar. If you tell yourself that you have no money, guess what, you have no money. If you keep telling yourself no one’s hiring me, no one is going to hire you. I can recall so many conversations I’ve had with people in my life about how people in Providence could not afford my rates, and it showed. People weren’t hiring me. That kicked off a loop in my mind, which settled into a mindset that I was dead set on. When I actively chose to think different thoughts, everything changed.
Instead of saying no one can afford me, say the right clients who know my value and worth are excitedly hiring me right now. That feels a lot different, doesn’t it? I know for some people saying “I am rich” or “I am abundant” doesn’t feel genuine when your bank account is in the red, but your brain is actively trying to prove you right. If you keep saying, “I have money in the bank,” your mind is going to start figuring out ways to make sure that there is money in your bank account. Play around with your language to attract precisely what you want. Be sure to use the right words. Saying "I need a job" is a lot different then "I have a job." Your brain is focusing on the lack, "I need" when you should be focusing on the have. "I currently have an amazing job." You may be sitting on the couch right now applying to a ton of positions, but you’re putting out into the universe that you are you already have what you want. It’s just on its way to you. It’s already yours.
Blaming lack of money on someone else
I’ve gone through this firsthand for a very long time. I grew up not having good money role models, and earlier this year, I realized that I was riding a money rollercoaster my entire life. I would have high highs, and I would have low lows, but I never completely crashed and burned. In my head, I thought this was OK. This was just what life was like since that's all I knew. I believed that I was not meant to have money because the people that raised me didn’t have a ton of money, so why would I be any different. Why was I worthy of something more? Here’s a newsflash, and I hope this resonates with you. You are not your parents. You are not your family. You are not your friends. You are your own person, and you can take control of how you think about money.
I am 100% in control of my money. It’s not because someone didn’t hire me, or I wasn't born to wealthy parents. It is only up to me and my effort on what’s in my bank account. It sounds frightening, but honestly, it’s so liberating. You are the only person in control of your money.
Thinking that there’s never enough money to go around is going to ruin you. It makes you feel like you’re in competition with people who aren’t even thinking about you. It makes you fight for a piece of the pie when there are unlimited slices to go around. A scarcity mindset is literally pushing money away from you. Last night I was asked who is competition to The Branding Edit, and honestly, I said no one. There are other local branding companies around, but what we do is different, and the people who want what we have will come to us. When someone approaches us but ends up working with someone else, it’s because they were looking for what that person is offering. It’s nothing against us.
The reverse of a scarcity mindset is abundance. I noticed myself playing into a scarcity mindset when I did have more money than usual, and I would hoard it. I wouldn’t pay off a more significant amount to my debt even though the money was there in my bank account. I was so afraid of more money not coming in that I held onto my cash so tightly. I'm still telling myself that there isn’t enough to go around. When you give money, you are opening yourself for more money to come in. You are telling yourself that you are completely confident in paying off your debt or hiring some help or investing in yourself because you know it will come back to you.
One day I decided that I was tired of thinking about money, so I just stopped. That doesn’t mean that I completely stop paying my bills or go on daily shopping sprees. For me, thinking about money tended to leave me worrying about money. I can tell you that once I stopped actively thinking about money, the jobs came to me. More and more business came my way. I bought myself new clothing for the season and did not think twice about "oh no, what if I don’t get a job in the next few months, and I won’t have that money anymore." I just spent the money gratefully, and I have not looked back since.
I know this isn’t the typical money mindset advice people give, but I’m sharing what worked for me. It was a process from doing the deep work to figure out why I had such a negative mindset around money, to then taking a 180 and only focusing on growing an abundance mindset, to then being completely neutral about money. When people stay too deeply in an abundance mindset, I still think it’s giving too much weight to money. Money is still super relevant to our daily lives. It’s bullshit when people say money doesn’t buy you happiness because money can absolutely buy you happiness. It can get you your dream home, which could be a giant mansion, or it could be a two-bedroom home in the neighborhood that you grew up in. It can take you on vacation with your family and friends. It can keep your fridge full of groceries. It can help you donate to causes that you believe in. Money absolutely can bring you happiness. Still, when people only focus on "I want to have a million dollars or else I won’t be happy," that’s when you’re taking the abundance mindset to a dark place. It’s not focusing on what truly will make you feel fulfilled.
Do that work within yourself and figure out where your mindset around money comes from and what you can do to get to a great place with money. How can you co-exist peacefully with money so it always finds a way into the lovely home that is your bank account?