Tough Love Tuesday | You Can’t Learn Life Lessons When You Are Doing Well

Last month Patsy talked about one of her obsession with NBC Songland, so this blog post I'm going to talk about my obsession, which is YouTube drama. Actually, I'm not going to go too deep into the drama because we will be here FOREVER, but what I wanted to talk about was something a YouTuber named Manny MUA said last night in his video commenting on drama he was in last year. And it was a big drama; you could actually call it a dramageddon. He said something that stood out for me, which was no one learns the life lessons when you're doing well. I actually kept saying "oh that's good" out loud after he said it. He went on to say that when he was on the top of his game and getting all the brand deals and receiving all the follows and likes, he didn't need to reflect on his life and choices up to that point. It took losing hundreds of thousands of subscribers and getting "canceled" by the internet for him to take that step back and realize that changes needed to be made.

I don't recommend that people need to hit a complete rock bottom to have that moment of clarity. But, sometimes, you find yourself overworked and overwhelmed. Or, you realize that you're neglecting your family, your friends, or yourself. Or, you find yourself making choices that wouldn't typically reflect your character. When you see that you are becoming something that you're not happy with, it's time to step back and get a little bit clearer about what is happening around you.

First, assess the situation

Take stock of your emotions and write down everything that's happening in your life right now that is causing you stress. Maybe it's taking on too many projects at once. Maybe your partner isn't picking up enough slack at home. Perhaps you feel like you're not giving yourself time for the self-care to need. Or, if you feel like you are letting people down. Once you see what's causing you to stress, then you can start to address it.

Look at the past

You have your list of everything that is currently stressing you out. Next, go back and look at the choices you made that lead these current circumstances. You didn't think you would have enough money coming in, and that lead you to take on way too many clients at once. You're so used to being the person that has everything under control that you don't want to ask your partner to take on more around the house. Maybe you told yourself you will sleep when you're dead, so you just ignore your body screaming at you to take a nap. Or, you're in your head way too much thinking about other people's opinions when they might not be thinking about you at all. Once you know the reason for the things that led to this point, we can now fix those issues.

Better choices for future

Now we know the real issues at hand, and even more so, we know what not to do in the future. Maybe it's time to raise your rates so you could hire some part-time help to assist you with upcoming projects. You could sit down your partner and let them know that you're overwhelmed and need help (they will most likely be more than happy to help once you let them know). Or, you decide to take a four-day workweek and that fifth day is for you to devote to self-care. Instead of thinking about what other people may be thinking of you, find a coach or mentor so you can talk about your struggles with someone that could help you.

I don't know why I am obsessed with YouTube drama, but I find it fascinating. It's not that I love watching people fall, but I love it when they come out on the other end a stronger person. We all have rough patches in our lives. The real growth comes not from when everything is going amazingly for you, but when you are shaken up, knocked down, and then you got back up again.